James Taylor says it so well. For those of us who can not live there this song rings in your head constantly. I love Louisiana. I love my family here. I love my friends. I love,love,love my job. But there is one thing about it it's not home. Some of my family and friends just don't understand it. They think that South Carolina should just been some thought and not something I miss. i really want to ask them to pack up and move 8 hours from the place where they grew up and all of their friends and family still are. I don't think they have a clue how it feels to be buying your first house and your parents can only see Internet views. Or not binning able to go get coffee with your best friends when you want to go let a little steam off.
Anyways...off the box... I miss my family, I miss my friends, as crazy as it sounds I miss the food, and I miss the state it's self. I miss the fresh mountain area, the hills, the way something is always in bloom, the cool spring waters that hide in the mountains, the beaches, the winding roads that lead to observe quaint places, the accents, the stretch between Greenville and Columbia the lakes, the cover of the trees everywhere, the shag, the beach music and so much more. But most of all I miss the time. Time just doesn't seem to move as fast. Everything is a slower pace. I don't think its that I just seemed to have more time I did have more time. Mow I know that sounds crazy but even as we go home now we still seem to have more time. Here it is always rush rush rush. Even on the days that we don't have anything to do, that time together seems to move by a lot faster. I love the fact ,sometimes, that there is always something to do, but sometimes I just want time to slow down.
Often time I wonder if South Carolina is in some vortex or black hole. Because there is just something about it that seems to be untouched by the rest of the fast paced life. I think of South Carolina and oldies play in my head as scenes of my life there past by. That could be my parents fault with waking me up every Saturday morning to the oldies.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
All Night
Blogging at 5 in the AM let's see how this works out.
House number two underway. For those who haven't hear house number one didn't work out so much. House number two is a whole lot nicer and bigger so fingers crossed and prayers needed.
School starts in a week. I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to finish everything because we have Orientation Tuesday. Year number two isn't near a nerve racking. I have very mixed emotions about this second year. I feel as if I can't have any cooler kids than I did last year and I am going to miss them. I am on the other hand excited to have a new set of students who will have another special place in my heart. I am trying, trying being the major word in this sentence, to get ahead start on being more organized. Let me tell you it's for the birds. Kris says I am going a little overboard but I just think he doesn't get it. I really want every kid that comes through my class to remember that year as the year they learned more and had more fun doing it than any other year before.
We have a new niece her name is Lorelia. I got to talk with her today. I am sure that she understood every word of the baby talk too :-). I really miss not being there and holding her. I had to hold back the tears because I was talking with them at work. EB is as cute as ever. It's just weird, like for me there has always been EB and she has been the wallpaper and back drop on my everything. She is also the one I go on and on about and people are giving me the shut up Jessi she's just your niece kind of look. And now she shares that spot with a little baby that is her sister. I just don't have a picture of them together so EB is back drop on everything but my phone. Phone goes to Lorelia.
I guess that is how my dad, sister, and brother felt. Haha! Man I wish I could really go to sleep. Lock in NEVER again!
House number two underway. For those who haven't hear house number one didn't work out so much. House number two is a whole lot nicer and bigger so fingers crossed and prayers needed.
School starts in a week. I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to finish everything because we have Orientation Tuesday. Year number two isn't near a nerve racking. I have very mixed emotions about this second year. I feel as if I can't have any cooler kids than I did last year and I am going to miss them. I am on the other hand excited to have a new set of students who will have another special place in my heart. I am trying, trying being the major word in this sentence, to get ahead start on being more organized. Let me tell you it's for the birds. Kris says I am going a little overboard but I just think he doesn't get it. I really want every kid that comes through my class to remember that year as the year they learned more and had more fun doing it than any other year before.
We have a new niece her name is Lorelia. I got to talk with her today. I am sure that she understood every word of the baby talk too :-). I really miss not being there and holding her. I had to hold back the tears because I was talking with them at work. EB is as cute as ever. It's just weird, like for me there has always been EB and she has been the wallpaper and back drop on my everything. She is also the one I go on and on about and people are giving me the shut up Jessi she's just your niece kind of look. And now she shares that spot with a little baby that is her sister. I just don't have a picture of them together so EB is back drop on everything but my phone. Phone goes to Lorelia.
I guess that is how my dad, sister, and brother felt. Haha! Man I wish I could really go to sleep. Lock in NEVER again!
Monday, July 12, 2010
I Don't Wanna Grow UP
So 210 N. Queens could be the house of our dreams (maybe).
Sometimes, well quite frankly most of the time I do not feel old enough to be buying a house. I do not feel old enough to be married, have a dog, take care of rent, have gown up job, and so on and so forth. But I guess that i am old enough I just do not feel like I should be.
The two things that make me feel the oldest...buying a house and the question on every single person I have talked to in the last six months children. When did I become old enough to even ask about those two things? When did I become mature enough to even think of those two thoughts? I look in the mirror and I can see the effects of aging already starting to take place. At the ripe old age of 21 ;-) the notion of living forever on this earth is hitting me harder than ever.
You know the AT&T commercial where the man sees the woman on the train and then they skip ahead to their future and their son is president...yeah that does not appeal to me. I feel like it should. To grow old with the man I love and to have children that I am proud of who will have child. To see my sister, cousins, and friends with their children makes me want one but to think of them growing up and me having to grow older yeah not so much into that. I am i having a mid-life crisis before my mid- life?
And then to top it off all of my friends are getting married or in serious relationships. We are having careers of our own, nurses, teacher, working for newspapers. When did our dreams become reality? What is going on? When did we all become old enough to be old enough?
I still re-late life situations to things on tv. Grown ups don't do that.
Sometimes, well quite frankly most of the time I do not feel old enough to be buying a house. I do not feel old enough to be married, have a dog, take care of rent, have gown up job, and so on and so forth. But I guess that i am old enough I just do not feel like I should be.
The two things that make me feel the oldest...buying a house and the question on every single person I have talked to in the last six months children. When did I become old enough to even ask about those two things? When did I become mature enough to even think of those two thoughts? I look in the mirror and I can see the effects of aging already starting to take place. At the ripe old age of 21 ;-) the notion of living forever on this earth is hitting me harder than ever.
You know the AT&T commercial where the man sees the woman on the train and then they skip ahead to their future and their son is president...yeah that does not appeal to me. I feel like it should. To grow old with the man I love and to have children that I am proud of who will have child. To see my sister, cousins, and friends with their children makes me want one but to think of them growing up and me having to grow older yeah not so much into that. I am i having a mid-life crisis before my mid- life?
And then to top it off all of my friends are getting married or in serious relationships. We are having careers of our own, nurses, teacher, working for newspapers. When did our dreams become reality? What is going on? When did we all become old enough to be old enough?
I still re-late life situations to things on tv. Grown ups don't do that.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Long Time No Blog
Life:
Why is life at times so busy that you do not even have a moment to stop and think.
I am blogging instead of finishing school work as usual. So a lot has happened in our little Crippin World since the last time I even thought about blogging. We are in a desperate search for a house. We can't afford our rent when it goes back up to it's original 1,300 a month. Now breath cause you know me and know that there is no way on this earth that I would pay that much ever. Our house payment won't even be that much.
I am going to school online which is always tons of fun! But the most unusual thing is that I have been shrimping at night with Kris and EJ. We need the extra money and Kris is working two jobs so I thought I would come along and make life a little bit easier on him. It's fun. Something I would have never ever seen myself doing. I used to watch Forest Gump and hey that's looks like fun. But never did I think that one day I would be on a shrimp boat shorting through all kinds of nastiness. Cause let me tell you it isn't for the faint of heart. As tough as I like to think that I am at times, I still get Kris to pick up some of those things that I just don't want to touch. Like sting rays...really you want me to pick one of those things up look what happened to Steve Erwin. Hello, I just now got to wear I will pick up crabs, cause let me tell you those things hurt. There is a catfish here that has stabbers in its fins that will make you swell and bleed....yeah I don't pick those up either.
Last weekend we went on a mission trip to Alvarado Texas. There are more Wickens, Witches, and Satan Worshippers in that one county than anywhere else in the US.
When I think about where I grow up and even where I live now. I have never seen really satan move. This week I saw satan work. I know that you are all going man Jessi has lost her marbles but many of you were saying that years ago. But you know why you could see satan in Alvarado and at the church we were at , is because there were people there that were messing up satan's plans. They were bring people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, preaching His gospel, and being used by the Holy Spirit.
That got me to thinking how long has it been since I have let the Comforter use me, How long has it been since our Churches have even let the Holy Spirit in? If you aren't seeing satan then I fully believe that you aren't letting the Holy Spirit do His job. It's something that every church has it's problems with cause you know what the Holy Spirit makes us all uncomfortable at times. As people that are very complacent we don't like to be taken out of our comfort zone.
I have heard many stories about people seeing demons or being demon possessed. But they all have been overseas in those "godless nations" Well it's not like we are a Christian nation. You know why they see demons because those who have converted to Christianity are not sitting on their butts and doing nothing to share their faith. They are going and telling everyone they know about the One that has come to give them life and life everlasting. They are "Making footprints, not butt prints". And because they are being used by the Holy Spirit satan and his demons are going to attack. Thank Cowboy Way for showing people THE WAY
Are you making satan mad?
Why is life at times so busy that you do not even have a moment to stop and think.
I am blogging instead of finishing school work as usual. So a lot has happened in our little Crippin World since the last time I even thought about blogging. We are in a desperate search for a house. We can't afford our rent when it goes back up to it's original 1,300 a month. Now breath cause you know me and know that there is no way on this earth that I would pay that much ever. Our house payment won't even be that much.
I am going to school online which is always tons of fun! But the most unusual thing is that I have been shrimping at night with Kris and EJ. We need the extra money and Kris is working two jobs so I thought I would come along and make life a little bit easier on him. It's fun. Something I would have never ever seen myself doing. I used to watch Forest Gump and hey that's looks like fun. But never did I think that one day I would be on a shrimp boat shorting through all kinds of nastiness. Cause let me tell you it isn't for the faint of heart. As tough as I like to think that I am at times, I still get Kris to pick up some of those things that I just don't want to touch. Like sting rays...really you want me to pick one of those things up look what happened to Steve Erwin. Hello, I just now got to wear I will pick up crabs, cause let me tell you those things hurt. There is a catfish here that has stabbers in its fins that will make you swell and bleed....yeah I don't pick those up either.
Last weekend we went on a mission trip to Alvarado Texas. There are more Wickens, Witches, and Satan Worshippers in that one county than anywhere else in the US.
When I think about where I grow up and even where I live now. I have never seen really satan move. This week I saw satan work. I know that you are all going man Jessi has lost her marbles but many of you were saying that years ago. But you know why you could see satan in Alvarado and at the church we were at , is because there were people there that were messing up satan's plans. They were bring people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, preaching His gospel, and being used by the Holy Spirit.
That got me to thinking how long has it been since I have let the Comforter use me, How long has it been since our Churches have even let the Holy Spirit in? If you aren't seeing satan then I fully believe that you aren't letting the Holy Spirit do His job. It's something that every church has it's problems with cause you know what the Holy Spirit makes us all uncomfortable at times. As people that are very complacent we don't like to be taken out of our comfort zone.
I have heard many stories about people seeing demons or being demon possessed. But they all have been overseas in those "godless nations" Well it's not like we are a Christian nation. You know why they see demons because those who have converted to Christianity are not sitting on their butts and doing nothing to share their faith. They are going and telling everyone they know about the One that has come to give them life and life everlasting. They are "Making footprints, not butt prints". And because they are being used by the Holy Spirit satan and his demons are going to attack. Thank Cowboy Way for showing people THE WAY
Are you making satan mad?
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Slap in da face
The past few weeks haven't excalty been the easiest weeks of my life. Life isn't suppose to be easy and I know this with all my heart but I like for life to fall into place like I want it to be. Last night life came to almost breaking down in the middle of the Wal-mart parking lot ( you know that's bad). My car has been a lot of my problems and yesterday it decided that it had enough and just quit. It quit with smoke and smelling like something on fire. So needless to say I was getting really mad a God in my head. (cause Kris didn't need to know my sin out loud).
In my head I was really asking God how can you let this happen "here we are trying to do what You want us to do, we've moved away from our parents, we live without a lot of stuff, we don't complain that much and then you just let things to down the drain." I mean I was really giving it to Him in my head' you know and of course mKing me sound like Saint Jessi patron saint of all the saints. Kris and I were both think like thousands of dollars to fix my jeep and where are we going to get money like that. We don't have any credit cards ( collective gasp from all reading this we probably are the only two people with out one , but if we don't have the money for it we don't need it) how in the world are we going to fix this. EJ pulls up and says awww no biggie it's just one of the battery cables is to short.
It won't cost much at all to fix it and the car will run like it should. He also said that it's been trying to reset its self. That explains a lot of Benson's problems. Benson is my jeep. We cranked it up after he had rigged it a little bit and it was almost just like new and boy did o feel dumb.
Why would I have ever doubted God. Why? When we were looking for a bigger apartment he provided for us with an apartment on discount. When Kris hurt his knee I had a job the next day. Then while working at that job He puts my dream job in my lap and also a job for Kris. he has given us more than enough and has never let us done not once. So why would this time be different? It wouldn't be. I was just being Jessi patron saint of Self.
Why is it that I always think that I am the one expectation the the rule. That God loves me more or something, that because I love Him and give up stuff for Him that the rest should be easy. That even though I make fun of him, but some where deep inside I believe Joel and his prosperity Gospel that he preaches. When I know that is not the way it is or should be.
Look at the twelve they had a hard life. All marytered except for John and he had boiling oil poured over him and lived and then was exiled to an island of criminals....you know that was some pretty bad weeks a lot worse than mine. But yet somehow my life is suppose to be different. You know those men didn't find joy or happiness in things but in Jesus Christ . Do you think that Paul would have gotten upset and broken down in the wal-mart parking lot cause his car wouldn't work? Or Peter angry with God because of things at work. I am thinking no. Just call it a wild gander. So why should I not look at these things as a time to praise Jahveh Rafa?
So last night I got a slap in Da face by how great God is and how little I deserve His love and all the many things that He provides daily. How constantly think woe is me and not how great is He.
In my head I was really asking God how can you let this happen "here we are trying to do what You want us to do, we've moved away from our parents, we live without a lot of stuff, we don't complain that much and then you just let things to down the drain." I mean I was really giving it to Him in my head' you know and of course mKing me sound like Saint Jessi patron saint of all the saints. Kris and I were both think like thousands of dollars to fix my jeep and where are we going to get money like that. We don't have any credit cards ( collective gasp from all reading this we probably are the only two people with out one , but if we don't have the money for it we don't need it) how in the world are we going to fix this. EJ pulls up and says awww no biggie it's just one of the battery cables is to short.
It won't cost much at all to fix it and the car will run like it should. He also said that it's been trying to reset its self. That explains a lot of Benson's problems. Benson is my jeep. We cranked it up after he had rigged it a little bit and it was almost just like new and boy did o feel dumb.
Why would I have ever doubted God. Why? When we were looking for a bigger apartment he provided for us with an apartment on discount. When Kris hurt his knee I had a job the next day. Then while working at that job He puts my dream job in my lap and also a job for Kris. he has given us more than enough and has never let us done not once. So why would this time be different? It wouldn't be. I was just being Jessi patron saint of Self.
Why is it that I always think that I am the one expectation the the rule. That God loves me more or something, that because I love Him and give up stuff for Him that the rest should be easy. That even though I make fun of him, but some where deep inside I believe Joel and his prosperity Gospel that he preaches. When I know that is not the way it is or should be.
Look at the twelve they had a hard life. All marytered except for John and he had boiling oil poured over him and lived and then was exiled to an island of criminals....you know that was some pretty bad weeks a lot worse than mine. But yet somehow my life is suppose to be different. You know those men didn't find joy or happiness in things but in Jesus Christ . Do you think that Paul would have gotten upset and broken down in the wal-mart parking lot cause his car wouldn't work? Or Peter angry with God because of things at work. I am thinking no. Just call it a wild gander. So why should I not look at these things as a time to praise Jahveh Rafa?
So last night I got a slap in Da face by how great God is and how little I deserve His love and all the many things that He provides daily. How constantly think woe is me and not how great is He.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Crazy Love
This morning I received some news that grieved my heart in a very unusual way. A teacher here at Calvary died. She was the other fourth grade teacher, we weren't close, but she was very sweet and kind. What grieved my heart more than here passing was how it would break the students hearts that I love dearly to hear this news. She is with Jesus and completely healed. I don't know if my fourth graders or the other fourth graders are going to get that. Like many they will just miss her dearly. We haven't told the students and as the clamored into the room today I had to draw back tears.
It's going to sound weird but we were talking the other day about having a true broken heart. None of them have ever felt that kind of brokenness before. I told them not the kind of broken heart from a crush or a boyfriend or girlfriend. The point was that God is always their. I didn't want to have to see their broken hearts. I will tomorrow or at the end of the day today.
I took Kris's book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan it's an amazing book. Today I was reading "You Might Not Finish This Chapter". It was very fitting. Chan say "Worry: implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives." He talks about how life is vapor. That resounds very true on a day you lose a co-Worker.
He goes on to say that lie is kind of like a movie. Where we are like an extra and you might see our hand in the whole movie but we still think the movie is about us and not God. "Isn't life always fragile? It is never under control"-Chan.
He started out the chapter with think about all it take properly for us to survive all the organ we take for granted unless your don't work like my Co-workers.
It' so crazy how we constantly think this life is all about us. Who made us? Who gave us life? Who gave us the things around us? Who forgive us of the wrong we do? God! So why on earth does would we ever think that this life is all about us? I know I do. I forget all that God has done for me on a daily bases. One day I won't be able to forget, but one day their will come a day where I won't be able to tell others about God's glory and what He has done for me. I forget that the point of my life is to point to Him and His glory.
I hope that you will go and buy CRAZY LOVE and contuine to fall more crazily in Love with the One who made you and Love's you and wants to spend eternity with you!
Pray for my students and the Co-workers family please
It's going to sound weird but we were talking the other day about having a true broken heart. None of them have ever felt that kind of brokenness before. I told them not the kind of broken heart from a crush or a boyfriend or girlfriend. The point was that God is always their. I didn't want to have to see their broken hearts. I will tomorrow or at the end of the day today.
I took Kris's book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan it's an amazing book. Today I was reading "You Might Not Finish This Chapter". It was very fitting. Chan say "Worry: implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives." He talks about how life is vapor. That resounds very true on a day you lose a co-Worker.
He goes on to say that lie is kind of like a movie. Where we are like an extra and you might see our hand in the whole movie but we still think the movie is about us and not God. "Isn't life always fragile? It is never under control"-Chan.
He started out the chapter with think about all it take properly for us to survive all the organ we take for granted unless your don't work like my Co-workers.
It' so crazy how we constantly think this life is all about us. Who made us? Who gave us life? Who gave us the things around us? Who forgive us of the wrong we do? God! So why on earth does would we ever think that this life is all about us? I know I do. I forget all that God has done for me on a daily bases. One day I won't be able to forget, but one day their will come a day where I won't be able to tell others about God's glory and what He has done for me. I forget that the point of my life is to point to Him and His glory.
I hope that you will go and buy CRAZY LOVE and contuine to fall more crazily in Love with the One who made you and Love's you and wants to spend eternity with you!
Pray for my students and the Co-workers family please
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Most Wonderful Time of Year
Today is March 1st. It is probably among my top favorite days of the year. March is my MOST favorite month. It's a time for re-birth for all of the things that have died over the past seasons. March means the best weather, the most beautiful smells, and BIRTHDAYS.
March, I like to think, is the month that God created just to tell me that He loves me. I know that is really selfish and not true. But it's nice to think that. I love spring it's the GREATEST of the four seasons.
Spring is all wrapped up in God's love and unfailing faithfulness to us. Just look around during spring. Things that have been dead for the past two or three seasons. Come back to life and are more beautiful than before. They show God's glory through their colors and fragrance.
We are like the flowers that die and fade out but God brings us back to his Glory so we can glorify him even more. We smell as a sweet fragrance to Him as we come back to show His glory.
I hope that you love this month as I do!
March, I like to think, is the month that God created just to tell me that He loves me. I know that is really selfish and not true. But it's nice to think that. I love spring it's the GREATEST of the four seasons.
Spring is all wrapped up in God's love and unfailing faithfulness to us. Just look around during spring. Things that have been dead for the past two or three seasons. Come back to life and are more beautiful than before. They show God's glory through their colors and fragrance.
We are like the flowers that die and fade out but God brings us back to his Glory so we can glorify him even more. We smell as a sweet fragrance to Him as we come back to show His glory.
I hope that you love this month as I do!
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